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Nov. 13th, 2005 10:57 pm

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh.
You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum.

Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

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Nov. 13th, 2005 10:10 pm

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

wow somehow i already knew id get that.

Current Music: i - Coal Chamber

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Oct. 30th, 2005 11:19 pm MALLRATS

Brodie Bruce:
One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But, the next week, he did it again--difference cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And, I says to him, "Jesus, Walt, what are you doing?! You know you're just going to get this cat stuck in your ass, too." And, he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?"

Brodie Bruce:
My grandmother always said, "Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free?"
T.S. Quint:
She did?
Brodie Bruce:
All the time. Course she became a lesbian on her 60th birthday, but that's beside the point.

Brodie Bruce:
My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of a sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control. So, he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So, all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So, all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of a sudden the hydraulics kick back in and the plane rights itself. It lands safely and everyone puts their pieces or whatever, you know, away and de-board. Nobody mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
Gil Hicks:
Well, did he cum or what?
Brodie Bruce:
Jesus Christ, man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!

Current Mood: sleepyno real sleep for 4 days......

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Oct. 14th, 2005 11:26 pm

Your mom is so stupid, she tried to use the Pythagorean Theorem to solve an obtuse triangle!

Your mom is so fat, when she jumps, astronomers have to recalculate the Hubble Constant!

Your mom is so dumb, she read the previous two jokes and laughed!

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Oct. 14th, 2005 10:09 pm

Very cold. I bought a ski mask recently, and while it does a great job of keeping my face warm, it makes me look like a terrorist, and that makes me real self-conscious. I'm not an intimidating height, but one of these masks could make Shirley Temple look menacing. On a simple walk to the drug store the other day, I came up with these rules for myself so that no one would go and sic Rumsfeld on me:

- Take the mask off before entering a store (obvious).
- Walk as non-threateningly as possible. Goofily, even.
- Sing a happy tune while walking. I chose the Beatles' "When I'm 64".
- Wave to people passing by, to show that I'm not pre-occupied with some plot to blow up the corner deli.

No one freaked out but when I got home I did all these things in front of a mirror and I looked so outrageously suspicious I almost took myself down. Ah well, all in the name of staying warm.

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Oct. 14th, 2005 09:33 pm

my pet!

my pet!

my pet!

my pet!

my pet!

my pet!

my pet!

my pet!

Current Mood: crazycrazy

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Oct. 14th, 2005 09:23 pm

"You'd think I was some sort of expert on getting rejected. I actually only have one bad rejection story, from freshman year at college; here are the highlights. See if you can find the point where I should've seen disaster coming.

- I asked this Panamanian girl to go to a party.
- She says ok, but only if she can bring a friend along.
- The whole time she's talking to her trashy friend instead of me.
- Later she says her friend isn't feeling well, and she wants to help her home.
- I offer to walk them both home, and she maces me.

And here I actually thought I was doing ok until the very end...."

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Oct. 12th, 2005 07:21 pm

Your Birthdate: March 19

Your birth on the 19th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life path.
But at the same time, it poses a number of obstacles to overcome before you are able to be as independent as you would like. The number 1 energy suggests more executive ability and leadership qualities than your path may have indicated.

A birthday on the 19th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. However, a somewhat self-centered approach to life that may be in conflict with some of the other influences in your life.
This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush.

You are sensitive, but your feeling stay somewhat repressed.
You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations.
You do not tend to follow convention or take advice very well.

Consequently, you tend to learn through experience; sometimes hard experiences.
The 19/1 is a loner number and you may experience feelings of being alone even if you are married.
You may take on a tendency to be nervous and angry.

repressed? angry? me? never!

Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: the Game - Disturbed

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Oct. 2nd, 2005 10:58 pm


i want cake... and a machette... but right now most of all? i want amy and some ample syrup... AND cake... woa overkill

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Sep. 15th, 2005 05:27 pm

Gryffindor! Fun-loving and ballsy down to the last
detail, you follow rules when it's convenient
for you and never turn down an opportunity to
par-tay. You're loud, mischievous, and a little
naive at times, but never let your awesome
self-confidence waver. Like Slytherin, you too
appreciate the finer things in life...just in a
very...different way.

A More Unique Hogwarts Sorting Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla


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